Popular Posts Of Last Seven Days
-
Early reports from N.Antrim indicate TumbleDown Dick has won the election in N.Antrim, it confirms 19,672 junkies in the area. They are so d...
-
Garry Kasparov has been earning big plaudits for his very articulate and outspoken views on American news outlets over the past few weeks. h...
-
According to the BBC website a documentary was shown tonight claiming to shed new light on the final hours of Cpt Robert Nairac. Hopefully t...
-
Obvious loony Liam Clarke tries to hoodwink the public with another article on the "Jesuitical Japes and Jokes" slapstick comedy ...
-
Peter`s whole career has been ONE GREAT BLUFF! Bluffing is such an inherent part of KOBA behaviour once an individual has immersed themselv...
-
Funny isn`t? Daniel 12 4 But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, ...
-
Ludwig 3 - the PC music program I was looking at the website for this music making programme yesterday. It was very interesting, they we...
-
VBC iplayer is broadcasting a "Top Of The Pops" show from 25/11/1976. The fool presenter is wearing half a Rangers shirt and...
-
Would you trust any of these men? What do you think of these men? One of them is a drunk. I saw him in the Waterfront Hall one night, but h...
-
Somone is not imtimidated by modern tanks. The guy in the sunglasses looks like a "sinister influence." Worried civilians check...
Saturday 12 January 2008
SATIRE
One of DPI's hundreds of Undercover Jesuit-Trained Operatives and Paid Papist Informants infiltrating the Belfast, Northern Ireland-based organization of militant Protestant leader Ian Paisley has just passed along the following document to DPI.
It announces Paisley's new grassroots movement to convince the British government to outlaw the practice of "harbor[ing] idolatrous statues and icons" in all churches in all areas under British rule, especially "Romish" churches. As the document below reveals, Paisley opposes all forms of "human-worship" and "idolatrous personality cults focusing on mere men rather than God."
--------(begin PRESS RELEASE)------------
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Rev. Dr. Ian Paisley, MP, Denounces Papist Idolatry
BELFAST -- Speaking at the Paisley Podium within the Paisley Lecture Hall of the new Paisley Jubilee Complex, renowned Reformed Protestant crusader Dr. Ian Paisley boldly attacked "idolatrous Popery's threat to the supremacy of Christ."
Righteously indignant that the British government still permits Romish churches to harbor idolatrous statues and icons, Dr. Paisley called upon the entire congregation of Paisley Free Presbyterian Church to send a stirring message to Parliament: "This abominable saint-worship takes away from the glory due to Christ alone!"
As perhaps the only true Reformed Protestants on the planet, Dr. Paisley noted, "we will never set up idolatrous personality cults focusing on mere men rather than God. This is one of the historic hallmarks of our faith here in the Paisleyite tradition!"
Joining Dr. Paisley at the Paisley Podium within the Paisley Jubilee Complex's Paisley Auditorium was Rev. Dr. Bob Jones III, president of Bob Jones University, a long-time staunch supporter of non-idolatrous, Christ-focused True Christianity.
"As I said recently at the unveiling of the new Bob Jones, Jr., wing of the Bob Jones, Sr., Memorial Sports Coliseum/Conference Center/Spa/Resort, our whole aim is to glorify God, only God, and nothing but God," Dr. Jones said.
"That is why we are now spearheading a capital campaign drive for the construction of the new Bob Jones III Institute for Combatting Papist Idolatry. To raise funds for this crucial Christ-centered enterprise, we are holding the first annual Bob Jones IV PGA Golf Invitational back in beautiful Greenville, South Carolina. Y'all are cordially invited to attend this important event at the newly developed Bob Jones Sr./Jr./III/IV PGA Championship Golf Course & Country Club for White Anglo-Saxon People Only."
To conclude this historic call for a return to true Christ-centered religion, Dr. Paisley. Dr. Jones, and all 1,500 attendees joined in reciting the Paisley Creed while the Paisley Orchestra played "Hail, Paisley!" -- a new tone poem composed by Mrs. Ian Paisley through a grant from the Paisley Center for Authentic Christian Arts & Culture.
"To God alone be the glory!" Dr. Paisley said in summary, as attendees dispersed for a reception at the Paisley Hotel.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment